Sermon

The Eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost (RCL, Year A, Proper 19)
September 14, 2008

Louise Walsh

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May the words of my mouth…and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, our strength and our redeemer.

Harriet Lewis had a mission.

She wanted to help us build capacity here at St. Mark's for sensitive conversation around issues like race and ethnicity. That meant you and I would be able to tell our stories, ask our questions and name our fears in an atmosphere of safety and respect.

This exceptional woman was the consultant for our parish retreat in June, known to us all as Shrine Mont. Our theme was deepening our engagement at St. Mark's around issues of race and racial reconciliation. It was our answer to the Number One priority for the parish in 2008—to start a dialogue about race inside St. Mark's with the intent of becoming a more welcoming and diverse parish.

After interviewing a sample of members and training 20 facilitators, Harriet Lewis decided we weren't ready to talk about race. We had some more communications skills to master. Without them, we might stumble around in the dark, hurting ourselves and others. She knew… that even people of good will… in their blindness can wound others. Especially around race.

And so our weekend morphed into a college class…with notebooks and an occasional quiz. But this was no ordinary classroom. The work felt sacred.

To teach us, Ms. Lewis used props. One was a heavy clanking chain with a large hook…or an episode from I Love Lucy on comic misunderstandings. A painting by Caravaggio shows where Jesus pulling back his robe and putting Doubting Thomas's finger into one of Jesus's wounds. This painting was an indelible lesson on trust and intimacy around our own vulnerabilities.

After an early lunch today, we'll take you deeper into our Shrine Mont experience. Please join us in the Parish Hall; we have nursery care available downstairs.

Less than a week after Shrine Mont, Harriet Lewis died suddenly. She was only 50. We were stunned and heartsick. This afternoon is the meeting we originally scheduled with her for July…and before we lost her.

Our consultant challenged us to press forward on healing the wounds that arise around race. In fact, she was moving us further along the road we began 10 years ago when we called the Reverend Paul Roberts Abernathy as our first African-American rector in more than one hundred years. Those first years for Paul and Pontheola in our dominantly white church were hard and painful. Looking back at this unusual racial dynamic, we see a missed opportunity for a communal conversation about what it meant to bring them here into what was then an almost all-white congregation.

Our work with Ms. Lewis on that hot June weekend had its roots in Paul's sabbatical theme and the discussions about radical hospitality at Shrine Mont in 2007… and the town meetings afterward. We learned then that other African-Americans parishioners, not just our rector and Pontheola, hadn't felt really welcome here. They felt like the "other" at St. Mark's. Just listen online to Loretta Veney's outstanding sermon for a first hand-account… Our work in June had roots in Paul's call to engage with one another around issues of race and racial reconciliation.

At the end of Shrine Mont, Harriet Lewis asked each of us to answer two questions: What would you like to bury at St. Mark's? What question would you like to ask someone about race and ethnicity that you have not yet asked? The outpouring was extraordinary. The planning team for this afternoon has seen the written anonymous responses, and this information will be shared.

I'll give you some examples of these questions in a moment. But first I have a personal note.

I left on vacation this August in low spirits. After a few internal church battles in late spring, I was weary, depressed and angry. It felt like nothing I said had a positive impact. I actually succeeded in making some things worse! Friendships were fraying, and people I deeply admired were angry with me. And that's just on the Finance Committee!!!

I held strong opinions, and still do, about our budget process. To say they were not uniformly shared is an understatement. I wanted to be right…I needed to be justified… and I needed to win. It seemed I hadn't been paying very close attention to Harriet Lewis. She gave us an exercise about the ladder of inference that you will see demonstrated this afternoon…and it spoke to my predicament.

Feeling lost and alone, I began to pray a lot. I used the Hour by Hour book and read it every day. The psalms and lessons lifted me with their passion and their beauty, even if only for a moment.

Things stayed bad for a while. I ruined my husband's birthday by crying throughout dinner at what should have been a romantic evening. The ground beneath me was shaking. I wasn't the person I thought I was.

Then something happened. I woke up one morning… and I wasn't angry anymore. I seemed to have found some solid ground. Winning wasn't important.

Something more happened on the flight back to Washington. It came out of a book on Meditations for Vestry members. Its author said that the Eucharist is Christ's reconciling meal. Jesus was very clear about this, she wrote. If you were angry…or your brother and sister had something against you, you were to leave your gift before the altar and go to these people and become reconciled. Then, and only then, could you return and offer your gift.

The author said if we're going to live by the Gospel, we can't hold grudges for long. And if we went to church every Sunday…the longest we could hold a grudge was for six days!!!!!!!!! We have to make sure we are fit to approach the altar, she said…so we can give the gift of ourselves to the lonely God who made us for himself.

Our reading from Matthew hears Jesus telling us to forgive one another many, many times…and warns us against the price of holding grudges.

And so I'm on my own journey of reconciliation. I'm probably a lot like you. And I have learned something else. My need to be right or to win pales against my need to be in this community, with all of you, warts and all, on our common and extraordinary journey!

I return now to the last assignment Harriet Lewis gave at Shrine Mont. Write down what question you would like to ask someone of a different race or ethnic group? Put your question in a container…it was actually a planter and it symbolized the idea that our questions are the seeds of our growth and healing around race and reconciliation.

There were about 110 questions placed in that planter. I will read you about 12. Listen to their power…………

“How do I create a safe place in my faith community for building true friendships across racial lines?”

“Where can we practice asking hard questions safely?”

“Can you help me understand what words or phrases are hurtful to you so I can wipe them out of my vocabulary?”

“Help me understand some of the wounds you carry…living white…related to race?”

“What do I need to do as a Black to help you get the sensitiveness of being nonwhite?”

“I would like to ask where the wounds are that divide the community. As a new comer I need this context.”

“How have I wounded others with my attitudes or behaviors about race and how can I avoid doing that in the future?”

“How different would it have looked to Paul & Pontheolla if we had treated them/welcomed them in the ways they hoped?”

“How can I more easily dialogue with ‘others’ at St. Mark’s who are different than me without fear?”

“How can we get to the bottom of our shared humanity? What pain do we have to go [through] to get there?”

And finally…

“Are you angry? Tell me about it… Why? Can I be there for you?”

To continue our work, we are finding a consultant to take us to the next level in the deepening conversation on race and racial reconciliation that was so powerfully reflected in the questions I just read. We will use what we have learned about how to hold real and respectful conversations.

We will also welcome on our journey… a new assistant rector, the Reverend Susan Pinkerton, who will join us in the Nave in a few short weeks! We hope that the Reverend Kay Johnson who leaves us at the end of this month will stay in relationship with us, in whatever ways Paul and Kay discern.

And joining us too is our new seminarian Christopher, or Chris, Robinson.

And all of you in the Nave today, especially the newcomers worshipping with us…please come to the Parish Hall for an early lunch and a stimulating session on stories and teachings from Shrine Mont.